I’ll always remember, it was late afternoon
It lasted forever, but ended too soon
You were all by yourself, staring up at a dark grey sky
And I was changed
In places no one will find all your feelings so deep inside
Was there that I realized that forever was in your eyes
The moment I saw you cry

“Cry” by Mandy Moore

I’ve been in a Mandy Moore mood today, listening to her old albums and there’s something about Mandy Moore that brings me back to writing.

Maybe it was because she “played” one of my favorite female characters that I’ve ever written, Harley, or maybe it’s because her music inspired me to write a lot back in the day. I even wrote a songfic called “Cry.”

I watch a few of my friends who still write talk about their chapters and readers and there’s something that pings inside of me that makes me miss it. I mean, writing wise, I only do it on here and on the Backstreet Boys’ official site. I don’t even write at work for a living anymore. It’s like beside the site and fan club, writing for me has died.

And I really hate it.

Sometimes when I’m at work, on the desk alone and the newsroom is buzzing on the other side, I’ll have my earbuds in, listening to music on my phone and I’ll really, really get in the mood to write. Of course, I can’t at the moment because I’m in the middle of working on a deadline, but by the time I finish work and come home, that writing feeling is gone.

I’ve often wondered about reworking my stories and putting them out on Amazon like I did once before, but I’m not sure. I kind of think if I do anything like that again, it will be an original story.

I just wish I could get past this fictional funk I’ve been in.

There’s nothing more that I want than to open up a Google Docs file or a Word file and just go to writing some amazing love story or comedy. Something that I can post online and get feedback from those that have always read my stories. And I just can’t.

Maybe I’m broken. Maybe I should have cherished the writing days when I had them because I really never thought they would go away.

Or maybe I’m just written myself out? If that’s the case, then how does Danielle Steel write 194049850934 books a year?

Maybe I wasn’t as great at writing after all like some said. Maybe it wasn’t meant to be.

Let’s make one thing very clear – I love Mandy Moore.

During the Britney versus Christina days, I was Team Mandy. I wanted to see her when she was on tour with the Backstreet Boys, but couldn’t. I loved her albums. I loved the fact that she was real and never tried to be something she wasn’t. I loved when she left the blonde and went to a dark blonde and then to finally brunette.

And I LOVED “A Walk to Remember.” I loved “Chasing Liberty” and “American Dreamz.” I even liked “How to Deal.”

I loved the next albums she came out with even though they were a little less pop and a little more folksy. I loved all of her next roles, especially “I Told You So.”‘

“I Could Break Your Heart Any Day Of The Week” was probably my most listened to song in 2009.

And yes, she’s had other movies and shows up until “This Is Us,” which were all great, but finally Mandy is getting the attention she deserves with this show because of the range of her acting. One minute she’s like 27 or 28 and the next she’s playing a senior citizen. She’s playing a wife, mother and grandmother.

And tonight at the Golden Globes, she looked amazing. A-MAZING. This was her time. She was going to win her award and… she didn’t.

She totally deserved that award and not because “Crush” is still in my Top 25 favorite songs ever, but because she is great as Rebecca Pearson. I feel like that role was made for her. She’s not the little 15-year-old singing “Candy” anymore and this role shows that.

And while she didn’t win tonight, which again, she should have, people are realizing that she’s still here. They are seeing that she’s talented and talented enough to be nominated for a Golden Globe.

Now if only we could get her back in a recording studio and get that Grammy.

bP.S. Mandy Moore is my girl crush.



According to the Orlando Sentinel, Sony Music will have hundreds of studio master tapes returned to them after eight years of being in a legal struggle with bankruptcy investigators.

The tapes in question are from artists such as N Sync, LFO, C-Note, Innosence, Mandy Moore and the late Leslie Carter.

Among the ‘N Sync recordings is the master tape of “God Must Have Spent (A Little More Time On You).”

This comes just five months after the Backstreet Boys were able to get many of their tapes and CD’s back in their possession, along with payment money.

Interesting Note: The article says there was a rapper named C-Note that has recordings, but Pearlman also had a boy band (a Latino) one named C-Note.